Adventures in Obscenity

The Cracker pt.20

The Cracker pt.20

October 7, 2011 · Leave a Comment 

Adventures in Obscenity: #210 The Cracker pt.20 by BSRiter “Fuck me you beautiful monster,” Lucy the whorebot cried out as she continued to slam her head into the granite walls of the sub basement. “Fill me with your monster cum.” To the Monster’s surprise and thing he was trying to rape and kill seemed to be enjoying the raping more than he was. While his giant knobby monster cock should have been turning her insides to a pile of bloody mush, instead the soft silicone like material morphed easily around him, allowing him to shove his club in up to the hilt and still have room... [Read the full story]

The Vault of Depravity

Cynthia vs. Diane pt.05

Cynthia vs. Diane pt.05

November 12, 2010 · 1 Comment 

Vault of Depravity: #30 Cynthia vs. Diane pt.05 – The Great Escape by King Gary Up close, it would be pretty obvious that Cynthia was not one of Diane’s tactical ninja troops, but it would help her to blend in at any kind of a distance; besides what did she really have to lose by giving it a chance? So, she cautiously walked down the hallway and peeked around the corner. She came upon an armory closet as she walked down the hallway. She tried the key-card on the uniform she picked up and fortunately enough for her it worked. She looked around for anything that might give her an... [Read the full story]

The Abominable Annex

Moonstone pt.25

Moonstone pt.25

December 15, 2011 · Leave a Comment 

The Abominable Annex: #75 Moonstone pt.25 by Deadshot One of the twins ran and stabbed Gromus with the sword, getting him on his knees. Now he felt helpless. He felt he was going to die. His eyes almost closing, watched one of the twins licking the blade of his blood. They hugged him and intimidated. They were dominating him. The numbness poison reacted in his body, so he got only time to put the Moonstone inside his mouth. With both hands he gripped the twins… dropped on the ground, pinning the vampires to the ground. The five humans watched their comrade fell to those vampires, but... [Read the full story]

Random Stories

Wrestling Rules Wednesdays: #02

Wrestling Rules Wednesdays: #02

September 23, 2009 · 3 Comments 

Rediscovering Wrestling: pt.1 Childhood Memories I am, by no means, what you would call a wrestling fanatic (though I have been watching wrestling on and off for as long as I can remember; which is close to 30 years). I am not a reporter, and quite frankly I don’t know where I would even begin to give a play by play of match highlights. I am also not an expert on Chikara; I do not know everyone’s name and group affiliations (yet). Conversely, I am just your average guy, who loves to watch wrestling. I grew tired of all the WWE (WWF back then) stuff in the early 90’s as it drifted... [Read the full story]

Bitchslicer / War Journal

Bitchslicer – War Journal: August 13th 2010

Bitchslicer – War Journal: August 13th 2010

August 16, 2010 · Leave a Comment 

August 13th 2010 @ The Milcreek Tavern – Philadelphia, PA Clamfight’s Record Release Show for Volume 01 — Officer Slug, Maegashira, Bitchslicer, & Clamfight Officer Slug played first: I talked to these guys a good bit throughout the night and they were very laid back. Musically they were kind of sludgy, punk, metal. They were slower and had a good sense of humor. Their drummer was really awesome. He was good, but he also had really good energy. Maegashira played second: Next up was Maegashira. These guys were slow, doomy, and drunk! The singer alternated between the... [Read the full story]

The Abominable Annex

Moonstone pt.25

Moonstone pt.25

December 15, 2011 · Leave a Comment 

The Abominable Annex: #75 Moonstone pt.25 by Deadshot One of the twins ran and stabbed Gromus with the sword, getting him on his knees. Now he felt helpless. He felt he was going to die. His eyes almost closing, watched one of the twins licking the blade of his blood. They hugged him and intimidated. They were dominating him. The numbness poison reacted in his body, so he got only time to put the Moonstone inside his mouth. With both hands he gripped the twins… dropped on the ground, pinning the vampires to the ground. The five humans watched their comrade fell to those vampires, but... [Read the full story]

Tales from the Porn Store

Tales from the Porn Store: #134

Tales from the Porn Store: #134

Tales from the Porn Store: #134 – Your name is Bitch! . (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) I love how every individual day I work here, manages to find its own unique way of being horrible, but entertaining...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #133

Tales from the Porn Store: #133

Tales from the Porn Store: #133 – Commercial Lease . (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) Lately my wife has been traveling a lot for both her last job, and her new job, so for last 2 months I have manages...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #132

Tales from the Porn Store: #132

Tales from the Porn Store: #132 – Meth-Sharks. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) Let me first start off by saying that I know nothing about Meth use, aside from a few documentaries that have I seen...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #131

Tales from the Porn Store: #131

Tales from the Porn Store: #131 – Skynet becomes Self-Aware. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) I had always wondered if it would happen one day… and now after almost 10 years, one of the crazy...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #130

Tales from the Porn Store: #130

Tales from the Porn Store: #130 – It’ll make your dick green!. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) Today was a very odd day. It was very slow, but somehow a handful of really stupid-assed, sub-humans...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #129

Tales from the Porn Store: #129

Tales from the Porn Store: #129 – The Ship has Sunk!. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) The ship has long since sunk, deep into the abyss, far, far beyond the point of no return. Am I the only one...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #128

Tales from the Porn Store: #128

Tales from the Porn Store: #128 – Sleeping Rattle Snake. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) I was really hoping for an easy day today (like most other Sundays have been lately) but no such luck. There...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #127

Tales from the Porn Store: #127

Tales from the Porn Store: #127 – No Dogs Allowed. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) Surprisingly enough after 9 years of working in here, today I got into an argument about something totally new;...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #126

Tales from the Porn Store: #126

Tales from the Porn Store: #126 – Two Former Customers. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) I saw two old customers today when I was out running around and getting lunch, and I realized how great it...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #125

Tales from the Porn Store: #125

Tales from the Porn Store: #125 – The Goats. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) When I came in to open up the store today, there was a copy of the Goats ‘Tricks of the Shade’ CD sitting on top of...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #124

Tales from the Porn Store: #124

Tales from the Porn Store: #124 – We Buy DVDs. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) Yeah I tend to spend a whole lot of time bitching about the customers that come in here all the time, but let me tell...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #123

Tales from the Porn Store: #123

Tales from the Porn Store: #123 – I Will NEVER Shop Here Again!. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) This old guy came in today with two clearance DVDs that ’didn’t work’. He walked right up to...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #122

Tales from the Porn Store: #122

Tales from the Porn Store: #122 – Impregnating the Floor. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) So this dude walks into the porn store. The big problem here is that all of the homeless guys, all of the...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #121

Tales from the Porn Store: #121

Tales from the Porn Store: #121 – Elvis, Death, & the Porn Store Apocalypse. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) I can barely stay awake today. I took some No Doz almost an hour ago, but I’m definitely...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #120

Tales from the Porn Store: #120

Tales from the Porn Store: #120 – Texas Chainsaw Massacre. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) It is so fucking cold in here today! Outside, every drop of moisture has turned to ice. Every dark spot...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #119

Tales from the Porn Store: #119

Tales from the Porn Store: #119 – Screw Me in the Sti. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) Since it minus four degree outside today, it is super cold in the porn store as well. So the first thing that...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #118

Tales from the Porn Store: #118

Tales from the Porn Store: #118 – What Job Requires Lube. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) Not that it’s that big of a deal either way, but today’s tale left me wondering about the missing pieces...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #117

Tales from the Porn Store: #117

Tales from the Porn Store: #117 – One Free Back Rub. (This tale has not yet been edited, so please excuse any errors or nonsensical run-ons that you may encounter when reading. Thank you. – G) The albino guy was the first customer in again today. He has routinely become the first customer to come in after...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #116

Tales from the Porn Store: #116

Tales from the Porn Store: #116 – Buy One Get One Free. We always have like 10 different sales going at any given time, that each last anywhere from 6 months to years. Most of the sales are confusing to the customers and we spend a lot of time explaining them over and over. For example, we have a $4.99 rack,...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #115

Tales from the Porn Store: #115

Tales from the Porn Store: #115 – Abnormally Large Pussy Lips. Even though I am always talking about the strange goings-on here in the porn store, I don’t often talk about porn itself. I guess you could say that to a certain extent, I am very desensitized to porn in general. Don’t get me wrong, I love...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #114

Tales from the Porn Store: #114

Tales from the Porn Store: #114 – Ninja Mice. Today was pretty uneventful, slow, and very very quiet. So quiet, in fact, that I actually spent time entertaining myself, and being entertained by, just how fucking dirty and disgusting the porn store really is. I spent a lot of the day sitting in a chair, leaning...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #113

Tales from the Porn Store: #113

Tales from the Porn Store: #113 – Please Invent Exploding Crack!. When I turned the corner to the block the porn store is on this morning, I saw that the entire street for the east end of the block was being taken up by one of those giant cranes. It was in use, so after I opened up the store and went to get...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #112

Tales from the Porn Store: #112

Tales from the Porn Store: #112 – Too Dumb for Minimum Wage. I am fully aware that with age comes wisdom, even for extremely dumb mother fuckers. So naturally being old and grumpy, you do have to cut young people some slack; of course, you can still curse at them under your breath for being so goddamn stupid....

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Tales from the Porn Store: #111

Tales from the Porn Store: #111

Tales from the Porn Store: #111 – When I Say Strippers…. I Really Mean Erotic Love Dolls. We get a lot of people coming in who stay at one of the two fancy pants hotels at the end of the block. Mostly traveling business men, but occasionally some timid woman who wants to come in and open a rental account,...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #110

Tales from the Porn Store: #110

Tales from the Porn Store: #110 – Friday Night Transsexual Party Bus. Today started out like an ordinary day at the porn store. It was really slow, the albino guy came in and paid for his porn is gold dollar coins. Some random guy came in and bought a bunch of transsexual porn. The odd thing about that, actually,...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #109

Tales from the Porn Store: #109

Tales from the Porn Store: #109 – Curse of the City Witch!. So… this really old lady came in today and looked around for a while. She looked at the General Release DVDs in the front of the store for a bit, and then she took a stroll through the adult section in the back of the store. She looked very out...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #108

Tales from the Porn Store: #108

Tales from the Porn Store: #108 – The Fine Art of Salesmanship (A play, in 3 Acts). Just another slow and boring day, peppered with the occasional mandatory dose of stupidity that always manages to finds its way into the porn store. ACT ONE: A Case of Mistaken Identity “HELLO!” the moronic old man screamed...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #107

Tales from the Porn Store: #107

Tales from the Porn Store: #107 – Porn Central: where the floors are covered in mold, the air smells like piss, and mice climb up your legs all day. The Porn Store has always been a dark dingy mess that makes women and sane people feel uncomfortable just to come inside for a little bit, but it has gotten...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #106

Tales from the Porn Store: #106

Tales from the Porn Store: #106 – 1349 (Slight Return). Every time I take a weekend off, I always come back to some fucked up horrible surprise, this weekend would be no different. I got up too early from not getting enough sleep, took the asshole mover aka the public bus to center city, stopped at the pharmacy...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #105

Tales from the Porn Store: #105

Tales from the Porn Store: #105 – Veronica Moser. When I was younger, I would actively seek out the most fucked up shit that I could find. I owned all the Faces, Traces, and 3rd rate knock off ‘Of Death’ movies. The first time I ever purchased pornography, I went into a video store and bought a ‘3 pregnant,...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #104

Tales from the Porn Store: #104

Tales from the Porn Store: #104 – Porn Thing. Last weekend, I took off work at the porn store so my wife could go to LA for an adult industry convention. It was nice getting away from the whole porn store reality for a bit. I caught up on a bunch of crap, slept in, and watch a lot of television! We have an...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #103

Tales from the Porn Store: #103

Tales from the Porn Store: #103 – The Rise and Fall of the Chutney Empire. I didn’t really know exactly what chutney was aside from being ‘some Indian food thing or whatever’ so I had to look it up upon writing this. The definition that I came across was “Chutney is a loan word incorporated into English...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #102

Tales from the Porn Store: #102

Tales from the Porn Store: #102 – Donkey Cocks & Hippopotamus Balls. After 4 hours of the store being open, I have only made one sale; some dude bought 2 transexual DVDs. But I have had 5 stupid phone calls, a homeless guy, a crazy guy who talks to himself, and some dude who wanted to grease our gates....

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Tales from the Porn Store: #101

Tales from the Porn Store: #101

Tales from the Porn Store: #101 – The Absolute Smallest Amount of Consideration. It’s still pretty early, but today has already been quite eventful. The day started out with a phone call at 10am on the dot asking if we have the movie ‘Date Night’, a question to which I responded “No, we don’t have...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #100

Tales from the Porn Store: #100

Tales from the Porn Store: #100 – Training Day. Towards the end of January 2002, the CD store that I worked at was raided; I was arrested, and I ended up spending the entire weekend in a West Philadelphia jail. It was awesome, of course; one of the most fun and exciting days of my entire life. I would have...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #99

Tales from the Porn Store: #99

Tales from the Porn Store: #99 – Thinning out the Herd. Having witnessed, first hand, the newest era of digital technology reduce the need for a dark and dingy smut hut, it does make me a little nostalgic about what porn once was, and about what it has always represented. Of course the times are changing,...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #98

Tales from the Porn Store: #98

Tales from the Porn Store: #98 – A Porn Addict’s thought on Vampires & Werewolves. Today seemed to start off a little better than I was expecting. I couldn’t really fall asleep last night, and ended up just laying there watching episode after episode of that show, Six Feet Under, on DVD. I think...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #97

Tales from the Porn Store: #97

Tales from the Porn Store: #97 – So Two Assholes Walk Into a Porn Store. There are these two loud morons in the back right now hanging out as I write this. They are being so annoying. They are screaming at each other and giggling like retards, I don’t even think they are looking around anymore. I can’t...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #96

Tales from the Porn Store: #96

Tales from the Porn Store: #96 – The Porn Avenger. I feel like Sundays get slower and slower every week. Less people come in to buy shit, less people come in to rent shit, less people come in to giggle and act retarded, and more bat-shit-crazy people come in to just to fuck with me and make me think of murder…...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #95

Tales from the Porn Store: #95

Tales from the Porn Store: #95 – Death to the Scribbler. Originally I was not going write, or even tell anyone about what happened… but then I realized I don’t really have any pride or shame, so… what fucking difference does it make? *** Now let me start this story off by explaining that we keep...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #94

Tales from the Porn Store: #94

Tales from the Porn Store: #94 – Porn for the Over 70 Crowd. Lately the Albino Guy has been the first customer each today, and he was the first guy in today. I know I am always ranting about the stupid shit that people do, but this guy really makes no sense to me. I always ask him and suggest to him that...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #93

Tales from the Porn Store: #93

Tales from the Porn Store: #93 – The Snakeman Cometh. The Snakeman was one of the first customers to come in today, (after the Albino guy). This dude is actually pretty cool and somewhat entertaining. The only thing that I absolutely cannot stand about this guy is that he apparently overdoses on cheap cologne...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #92

Tales from the Porn Store: #92

Tales from the Porn Store: #92 – Pineapple. Today has been really really quiet; not much action on this sinking ship. A dude came in and asked me where the DVDs were. Dude, they are everywhere – that is all we sell! I dare you to find a single wall in the store that is not covered in DVDs! Another guy...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #91

Tales from the Porn Store: #91

Tales from the Porn Store: #91 – Eunich Douche Bags. Since the store is located beneath a parking garage, we can only get two radio stations to come in clearly inside the store. I hate the radio in general, so this has never really bothered me. Of the two radio stations, one being a generic shitty pop rock...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #90

Tales from the Porn Store: #90

Tales from the Porn Store: #90 – Pisstacular!. Have you ever been presented with a situation where you genuinely feel sympathy for someone and their disposition, only to have them turn around and do something so unaccepted that it just blows your freakin’ mind? I guess that is the problem with judging...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #89

Tales from the Porn Store: #89

Tales from the Porn Store: #89 – The Scribbler. It was a quiet and uneventful Sunday just like any other, and then in walked this one dude… who kind of reminds me of this one half retarded guy that I grew up with. This customer was a dark skinned man, in his mid 40’s. He had long afro-like hair around...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #88

Tales from the Porn Store: #88

Tales from the Porn Store: #88 – “Please Be Nice to Me” said the Feral Zombie to the Albino Spare Change Gigolo. My alarm clock must not have gone off this morning. I woke up, and the light coming through the windows immediately cued me that it was later than it should be. So I jumped up, then looked...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #87

Tales from the Porn Store: #87

Tales from the Porn Store: #87 – Lice Invasion. I have sat down to write this story 4 or 5 times now, and each time I begin, I immediately get sidetracked into writing about the many other crazy things always going on in the porn store. This is a great thing, never running out of crazy stories to tell, so...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #86

Tales from the Porn Store: #86

Tales from the Porn Store: #86 – The Invisible Enemy. Damn! We got the new Pinky DVD in, but I only know that because someone just brought it up to rent it… Fuck! So that means I can’t take it home tonight and watch it. That is the only porn DVD I have been awaiting the release of since the Munsters parody....

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Tales from the Porn Store: #85

Tales from the Porn Store: #85

Tales from the Porn Store: #85 – No Fraternizing with the Morlocks. Today was pretty crazy for a number of reasons, let me explain… We were really busy all fucking day long. A number of new customers came in to buy adult DVDs today. And of course there were the regulars, who can’t seem to come in without...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #84

Tales from the Porn Store: #84

Tales from the Porn Store: #84 – Between Two Shifts – Junkie Bus. Currently, my number one favorite treat is the Clementine flavored Izze soda. Sometimes when my wife is out running around and sees it, she picks them up for me like you might buy catnip for your kitten. This always makes me smile....

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Tales from the Porn Store: #83

Tales from the Porn Store: #83

Tales from the Porn Store: #83 – Depraved Purple Shit Eating Madness. Summer time is almost here I guess, since downtown Philly was exactly like flies on shit all day long today, ugh! People were crawling out of their dwelling places in order to stumble around like zombies while their kids ran around...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #82

Tales from the Porn Store: #82

Tales from the Porn Store: #82 – An Escapee from the Asylum. So… this dude who was in yesterday, for three whole hours, is back again today. Oh no!!! Let me tell you, this guy is out of his fucking tits! I am betting that he is some sort of mental patient; no joking! He has been coming in a lot; but...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #81

Tales from the Porn Store: #81

Tales from the Porn Store: #81 – Arecas Xishi. When I first started working here in Feb 2002, VHS tapes were still the main format for porn. We had a small DVD section, and some companies were putting out DVDs but VHS was still king. I would say that over the next year or two (2003-2004) VHS fell to the...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #80

Tales from the Porn Store: #80

Tales from the Porn Store: #80 – Bad Porn Ideas (Michael Moore Does America). So today this one knucklehead came in and bought a pornographic movie called ‘Hustle and Blow 3’. The cover of this DVD features a picture of Mack 10 with 3 half naked ladies hanging all over him. Now, I like Mack 10...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #79

Tales from the Porn Store: #79

Tales from the Porn Store: #79 – Fuck Owen Wilson! The store had been a ghost town for the last few hours so I decided that it was a great time to get me some lunchy lunch. Since there was quite literally a torrential downpour happening outside, I decided that I would just order something to have delivered...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #78

Tales from the Porn Store: #78

Tales from the Porn Store: #78 – Darth Erotica. So last night while I was out and about, watching some bands, and getting pretty drunk, I got involved in a number of drunken conversations with a number of my drunken friends… but then there is always the inevitable drunken conversation you get cornered...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #77

Tales from the Porn Store: #77

Tales from the Porn Store: #77 – The Abominable Lunkhead. I wish I had a clever nickname for this one lunkhead that came in today, who is about as big and dumb as they come, but I don’t. So instead of using his real name, I am just going to refer to him as the Abominable Lunkhead. Now, to help you...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #76

Tales from the Porn Store: #76

Tales from the Porn Store: #76 – Twipple Death Burger. Today really sucked! It’s almost as if someone was standing right outside the porn store door, only letting in the people who promised to start some bullshit with me, or the ones that just looked they would be a huge pain in the ass. Sometimes,...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #75

Tales from the Porn Store: #75

Tales from the Porn Store: #75 – Mutants vs Douchebags. Wow. We’ve had 2 blizzards in the last 8 days, and I’m talking record shattering snowfall. There is so much snow everywhere downtown, and nowhere to put any of it. The 2 lane streets are all one lane-ish, yet the dumb motherfuckers who drive the...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #74

Tales from the Porn Store: #74

Tales from the Porn Store: #74 – Happy Valentines Day!. When I first sat down to write today, my plan was to take some of the ‘couples’ related story fragments I had sitting around collecting dust, and put together a couples themed tale. Then, through an awesome mysterious stroke of coincidence,...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #73

Tales from the Porn Store: #73

Tales from the Porn Store: #73 – Black Hitler. There’s an area on every customer’s account for employee notes. After a customer has been in enough times, and caused enough problems, or done enough weird shit… someone will eventually add a nickname or something funny to their customer account. This...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #72

Tales from the Porn Store: #72

Tales from the Porn Store: #72 – Good Morning Young Feller. I have begun to feel like no matter what happens in here anymore, it’s all become sort of ‘old hat’. Like for the last 70 plus tales, I have told almost 8 years worth of crazy stories and now the bar has been raised so high, that unless...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #71

Tales from the Porn Store: #71

Tales from the Porn Store: #71 – Tauntaun Porn. They had been calling for a major snowstorm (which turned out to be the biggest snowfall in the past 80 years here in Philadelphia, the 2nd biggest in recorded history) so I figured there was a really good chance of work being canceled for today, but no...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #70

Tales from the Porn Store: #70

Tales from the Porn Store: #70 – Scream Blacula Scream (my re-make fantasy). The Dirt Dog had just walked in as I was hitting play on Scream Blacula, Scream. He is a harmless entertaining crazy person who may be homeless. He is really short and has a nice afro with a receding hairline, and a really good...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #69

Tales from the Porn Store: #69

Tales from the Porn Store: #69 – That’ll be 151 Nickels. Today, as a documentary on Hunter S. Thompson played in the background on the DVD player, I had what was a pretty typical morning here in the land of lube and pornography. The very first guy to walk into the store, who as of today will be...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #68

Tales from the Porn Store: #68

Tales from the Porn Store: #68 – I’m Gonna Die!. Since I couldn’t really sleep last night, I kept waking up every hour or so. I woke up about an hour before my chainsaw alarm clock went off, and just ended up getting up for the day. I am sure my wife appreciated this, since she only works one job...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #67

Tales from the Porn Store: #67

Tales from the Porn Store: #67 – Morlocks in the Public Library. I am sitting at the Philadelphia Public Library, at a table in the back with my laptop, listening to the Danny Bonaduce show podcast (trust me, he is fucking hilarious! I had originally lumped him in with all the joke has-been whatevers,...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #66

Tales from the Porn Store: #66

Tales from the Porn Store: #66 – Screeched. Preface: I wrote most of this Tale a while back, almost 3 years ago I think. I didn’t want to post it until I could actually see the Screeched DVD (which I didn’t really want to watch), so I could comment on the DVD since it’s relevant to this tale....

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Tales from the Porn Store: #65

Tales from the Porn Store: #65

Tales from the Porn Store: #65 – Tron. When I walked in the porn store this morning, I randomly grabbed a movie to throw in the DVD player, just so there was something going on in the background to break up the silence and the occasional smut zombie scratching at the door moaning the word ‘porn’ over...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #64

Tales from the Porn Store: #64

Tales from the Porn Store: #64 – A Day in the Life of Some Jerk who Works Downtown . As I turned the corner and walked down the sidewalk approaching the porn store, I noticed two things… it appears as though someone is doing something with the old pussy tea palace, and the other is that homeless man...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #63

Tales from the Porn Store: #63

Tales from the Porn Store: #63 – Nasti Neena. Today I had a pretty typical morning. It all started out with me being very tired, very hungry, and very irritable. After the initial opening blitz of chuds, molemen, bankers, and wannabe thugs… the morning slowed down a little bit and then eventually the...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #62

Tales from the Porn Store: #62

Tales from the Porn Store: #62 – Watch it Burn. I woke up at 7:00am today so that I could do 90 minutes of work for my one job, before leaving to go work an 8 hour shift at the porn store… only to come back home and work some more. I ended up having to wait 25 minutes for the bus (that runs every 12-15...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #61

Tales from the Porn Store: #61

Tales from the Porn Store: #61 – Y’all’s Gots Dirty Movies in Heera?. Now there’s making fun of people just to be mean, and in my case just to entertain myself, but then there are the people who are so fucked up, you don’t even bother to make fun of them. If fact, you would probably feel guilty making...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #60

Tales from the Porn Store: #60

Tales from the Porn Store: #60 – Crack Whore, the Musical. So a guy walks into a porn store… this dude used to come in a few times a day – everyday, but I haven’t seen him in a while. I think he’s a door man at a hotel close by, and used to always come in during his shift. I never really had any...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #59

Tales from the Porn Store: #59

Tales from the Porn Store: #59 – The Jimi Hendrix Pornographic Experience. I hadn’t been to the porn store in 2 weeks, and I was actually supposed to have off this weekend too. Even though I had not been working at the porn store, between some huge events and recording, my days off have usually ended...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #58

Tales from the Porn Store: #58

Tales from the Porn Store: #58 – Planet of the Painted Pussies! (A Evening of Metal, Sex Toys, & Porn!). For this week’s Tale, we are going to be once again venturing outside safety and security that the pornstore itself provides, and directly engaging pornography itself… well sorta. But, don’t...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #57

Tales from the Porn Store: #57

Tales from the Porn Store: #57 – A Day Without the Crazies, Would be like a Day Without Sunshine. So I’m just chillin at Porn Central, watching one of the Harry Potter movies. I enjoyed them all a great deal, but I guess I never really paid attention enough to completely grasp the storyline. I have...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #56

Tales from the Porn Store: #56

Tales from the Porn Store: #56 – Everyday I’m Hustlin’… Pokemon Cards. It’s a slow rainy Saturday morning here at the ‘Porn Command Center’. It has actually been pretty slow customer-wise, which is amazing, since normally on days like this all the giant albino alligators who live in the sewers...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #55

Tales from the Porn Store: #55

Tales from the Porn Store: #55 – Lifeless Bodies, Fresh Baked Cookies, & Wrestling DVDs. I’ve been so busy lately that I have been getting up super early just to squeeze more things into each day. So today I got up 3 hours before I had to actually be at work, and immediately starting drinking Red...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #54

Tales from the Porn Store: #54

Tales from the Porn Store: #54 – Skin Remover. Today was a pretty interesting day. It started out with my wife and I taking the long drive to North Jersey for our day at the office (aka The Sex Toy Command Center). The day at the office went pretty great actually. A lot of great things happened, but none...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #53

Tales from the Porn Store: #53

Tales from the Porn Store: #53 – Customer Appreciation Day. Customer Appreciation Day… yeah, that’s never going to fucking happen. But, here are some random thoughts about how the porn store customers are better than customers everywhere else I go; especially in West Philly. *** I have lived in West Philly...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #52

Tales from the Porn Store: #52

Tales from the Porn Store: #52 – Asshole vs. Porn Store Ok, I am aware of the fact that everyone processes information differently, reacts differently, and executes actions differently. I am also aware of the fact that sometimes the way a person might do these things, may make absolutely no fucking sense...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #51

Tales from the Porn Store: #51

Tales from the Porn Store: #51 – What the Fuck Sandwich I am fully aware that half of each Tale, now consists of me bitching about my bus ride to work and trying to get breakfast, and… today’s tale will be no different. You know what, today’s will actually be worse. I am going to bitch about breakfast...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #50

Tales from the Porn Store: #50

Tales from the Porn Store: #50 – Monkey Shines (aka Just Another Boring Day at the Office) Before we get into the absurd story telling and my extremely immature sense of humor, I want to say a few things about this, my 50th ‘Tale from the Porn Store’. I came to work at the porn store (and later at Eden)...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #49

Tales from the Porn Store: #49

Tales from the Porn Store: #49 – The Other Wolfman My day started off a little shitty. I have been really sick the last 48 hours. I’d been laying in a hot room, soaked in sweat, while my wife yelled at me for bundling up in a blanket and not eating or drinking anything. But in my defense, I felt really...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #48

Tales from the Porn Store: #48

Tales from the Porn Store: #48 – 20 Minutes of Random POV WOW, right now there is this really really weird guy (and by weird I mean Way too fucking friendly, that shit don’t fly here in the city, but seriously he is very creepy). So I missed the very first part of the conversation. The two guys in the front...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #47

Tales from the Porn Store: #47

Tales from the Porn Store: #47 – Frankenhooker and the Porn Troll This porn store is a total ghost town so far today. The sky is completely black, and there is a horror movie style thunderstorm going on outside. The thunder is so loud and massive that you can feel it rattling the ground. I bought Deathproof...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #46

Tales from the Porn Store: #46

Tales from the Porn Store: #46 – Not the Dumbest Thing I’ve ever Done, but Close! The other day something reminded me of this one dude that used to come in a lot. I haven’t seen him in possibly 2 years now. He was an older Asian guy: very short, very polite, spoke very little English, and was never...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #45

Tales from the Porn Store: #45

Tales from the Porn Store: #45 – Rumpelstiltskin Rents Porn Today has been very slow and uneventful, and now that my shift is almost over this one dude comes in. Picture a 60 year old, 4’11, more laid back version of the ‘Goodfellas’ Joe Pesci. This dude was really nice and polite, so I have no...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #44

Tales from the Porn Store: #44

Tales from the Porn Store: #44 – Public Safety Announcement I’ve realized that so much of my day turning out good, or being horrible, hinges on the few routines that I must carry out every morning. Once I am in the store, behind the bullet proof glass and in my own little insulated bubble, I can sit...

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Tales from the Porn Store – Nashville Report

Tales from the Porn Store – Nashville Report

The Nashville Report – Things You Should Not Assume About Your PSA by Daynise NO… not a Public Service Announcement, but a Porn Sales Associate. You know, the person with the endless knowledge of pornography, who greets you when you come into the store. The person who will happily demonstrate the...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #43

Tales from the Porn Store: #43

Tales from the Porn Store: #43 – Anger Management (the mini series) Part 04 of 04 – The Return of Mr. Pink So the rest of the day was a pretty typical overflowing catbox of a Monday. Just selling some porn, answering the phone to talk to people who try to keep me on the phone for 10 minutes listening...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #42

Tales from the Porn Store: #42

Tales from the Porn Store: #42 – Anger Management (the mini series) Part 03 of 04 – A Festering Plague of Stupidity On the way back from breakfast, as I walk up the street towards the store, I am actually in somewhat of a good mood after what has been a shitty opening to the day. Then as I turn...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #41

Tales from the Porn Store: #41

Tales from the Porn Store: #41 – Anger Management (the mini series) Part 02 of 04 – The Chicken Grease Man I got off the masturbating ninja express bus and walked to the porn store. As I began to put my key in the lock, to put up the doorway gate (about halfway so that I can get inside the store),...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #40

Tales from the Porn Store: #40

Tales from the Porn Store: #40 – Anger Management (the mini series) Part 01 of 04 – The Masturbating Ninja Mondays are typically one of the biggest pain in the ass shifts for me to work, at least Monday mornings are. Today was no exception. And a one, two, three, four… Today I got up way too...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #39

Tales from the Porn Store: #39

Tales from the Porn Store: #39 – Made with Love, Straight out of the Alien’s Body What a quiet Sunday morning it has been, here, at the porn store. I’ve been here for five and a half hours and only had to ring up 5 people so far. This is, of course, bad for the store – but it is simply marvelous...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #38

Tales from the Porn Store: #38

Tales from the Porn Store: #38 – Fuck Mick Jagger! Wow, I get out of here in about a half an hour and I cannot fucking wait! It’s been a relatively slow Tuesday morning / afternoon; however, there were two local homeless / crazies / molemen that came in today. The first one was short and wearing his...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #37

Tales from the Porn Store: #37

Tales from the Porn Store: #37 – Darth Chud Today turned out to be another really slow Sunday. I am assuming that since it is a holiday weekend, everyone is either at the beach or at a BBQ, (even the Morlocks and C.H.U.D.s must be preoccupied with doing something festive today). I ended up getting to...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #36

Tales from the Porn Store: #36

Tales from the Porn Store: #36 – The Monkey’s Paw So this guy walks into a porn store with a monkey’s arm sticking out of his bag. He walks around all wide-eyed and creepy – like he’s on acid. He is all hunched over and his movements are very much exaggerated. He is kind of reminiscent...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #35

Tales from the Porn Store: #35

Tales from the Porn Store: #35 – Forgot Your Keys, Asshole! It’s the little things that happen all day long that make you smile, and it’s also the little things that make you want to smash everything in sight like the Incredible Hulk. I would imagine that you could make this argument for any other...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #34

Tales from the Porn Store: #34

Tales from the Porn Store: #34 Vishardufush After Kill Bill 01 ended, I put Kill Bill 02 in the DVD player and tried to enjoy a brief reprieve in my day of fighting with the denizens of this fine city’s sewer systems and mental health facilities. As soon as I get past all of the trailers, bullshit menus,...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #33

Tales from the Porn Store: #33

Tales from the Porn Store: #33 – Random Thought Patterns in between Sleep and Caffeine Today, in between opening the store and going out to kill me a breakfast sandwich, I started thinking about some pointless philosophical stuff; mainly about how people interact and connect with each other, and why. I know...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #32

Tales from the Porn Store: #32

Tales from the Porn Store: #32 – Chocolate Covered Strawberry Normally when I talk about the goings-on here at the porn store, I focus on the all crazy stuff that the people who come into the store do. Well, today was extremely slow. Today has been one of the slowest days I have worked in a long long...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #31

Tales from the Porn Store: #31

Tales from the Porn Store: #31 – Porn and Breakfast I got to work almost an hour early today. This is actually a pretty awesome thing since the store is closed. I get to relax, be completely alone, and eat my breakfast in peace, or at least on most days I do. Today the fax line kept ringing from the time...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #30

Tales from the Porn Store: #30

Tales from the Porn Store: #30 – Transsexual Tuesdays Old Man 1 has been coming in just about every morning lately. I am a pretty bad guesser when it comes to shit like guessing someone’s age, but if I had to guess I would say that he was around 75 years old. This guy moves very slowly, he’s...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #29

Tales from the Porn Store: #29

Tales from the Porn Store: #29 – Clash of the Super Titans Most of the really hardcore customers that come in to the store have been regulars since before I even started working here in early 2002. Most of these guys have been asking the same dumb questions, doing the same irritating shit, and just being...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #28

Tales from the Porn Store: #28

Tales from the Porn Store: #28 – Want some M&Ms ??? My morning started off fairly typical with me being very tired, very hungry, in a very foul mood… and to top it all off, I ended up having to take the fucking bus to work. I don’t really have to ride the bus too often anymore, so the very...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #27

Tales from the Porn Store: #27

Tales from the Porn Store: #27 – Back to the Porn Store FUCK!!! As much as I’m glad to be back home with my family, and my cats – after being on tour for the last month, driving around throughout half of the country, and having one of the best times of my entire life, playing some amazing...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #26

Tales from the Porn Store: #26

Tales from the Porn Store: #26 – Porn Store Messiah Normally on Saturdays, I open the porn store, but today I managed to dodge an enormous bullet. Today I ended up working the closing shift instead of doing a double like I regularly do. During this past week I had covered for my boss on one of his shifts...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #25

Tales from the Porn Store: #25

Tales from the Porn Store: #25 – What a Bucket of Douche I could already feel that it was gearing up to be a REALLY long 14-hour shift that I had ahead of me today. I was running a little later than usual so I couldn’t stop and get coffee on my way to work like I had planned. I had the time to stop,...

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Tales from the  Porn Store: #24

Tales from the Porn Store: #24

Tales from the Porn Store: #24 – Oceans of Lotion Today’s tale is about a customer who I like to refer to as “Oceans of Lotion”. I have been working at this job for about 5 years now and I have seen this dude on almost every shift that I have ever worked, he is very hard-core. He comes in every...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #23

Tales from the Porn Store: #23

Tales from the Porn Store: #23 – New Years Eve Today is New Years Eve and we are running on special “Holiday Hours” today. So when I got to work there were already people waiting outside for the store to open since we open at 10am today, instead of the regular 9am in which they are accustomed...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #22

Tales from the Porn Store: #22

Tales from the Porn Store: #22 – My Day Off Today’s tale takes place outside of the porn store reality, but it still feels somewhat relevant… it’s still about scumbags and porn. I had off work today and I didn’t have to do anything until 6pm when everyone was coming over for Bitchslicer practice....

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Tales from the Porn Store: #21

Tales from the Porn Store: #21

Tales from the Porn Store: #21 – Pornographic Endtime Prophecies For the sake of explaining today’s tale, we will be referring to the two main characters as, the A-Team, and Air Wolf. Now the A-Team had already been into the store once today to pick up some porn. After a few hours had past, he returned...

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Tales  from the Porn Store: #20

Tales from the Porn Store: #20

Tales from the Porn Store: #20 – Schizophrenic Freak Out I got to the porn store today feeling very very sleepy. I only managed to get about an hour and a half of sleep last night. Once I got the store opened, I was just chillin’, drinking some coffee, & trying to wake up. Pretty typical morning...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #19

Tales from the Porn Store: #19

Tales from the Porn Store: #19 – Return of the Super Freak! OK… picture a 100 pound, 5′2″, mid to late thirties, black man, with a full beard, wearing a long blonde haired wig, really bad makeup, and womens clothes. This guy has not been in for a while but today he made quite the triumphant return....

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Tales from the Porn Store: #18

Tales from the Porn Store: #18

Tales from the Porn Store: #18 – Porn Store on Speed Dial Today started off a little rough. I slept through my alarm clock and woke up late. As I looked at the clock on my way out of the warehouse, I realized that I just might still make it to the porn store on time. I walked really fast to the subway...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #17

Tales from the Porn Store: #17

Tales from the Porn Store: #17 – Bang Raft This morning on my way in to work I saw the bearded lady again. As I walked past her, she asked me for a cigarette. I guess she is the hot new act, in all star cast of the downtown crazies, seeing as how I have now ran into her three times in three days. A bunch...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #16

Tales from the Porn Store: #16

Tales from the Porn Store: #16 – Bearded Lady, Blackzilla, & Sex Dolls for College Remember the bearded lady that I was talking about yesterday… well she came in to the porn store today. She walked in, yelling out the name of other guy who works here, asking him for money. I guess she must come...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #15

Tales from the Porn Store: #15

Tales from the Porn Store: #15 – A Good Day to Live in the City Today I took the #07 bus to work. Going north on 22nd street about 20 feet before the corner of 22nd and South, I saw this women who looked to be in her late 20’s sitting on the steps in front of a building drinking a 40 out of a brown...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #14

Tales from the Porn Store: #14

Tales from the Porn Store: #14 – The Big Dawg Tonight this guy with a dog came in. He left his dog tied up outside. The dog was maybe the size of a full-grown German Sheppard, but was more of a Cujo looking dog. The dog was not as big as Cujo, but it was pretty big. I am not that sharp with dog breeds...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #13

Tales from the Porn Store: #13

Tales from the Porn Store: # 13 – The Special People Today is apparently the day for retarded questions and special people. The first guy who was in today was trying to ask me about something, or maybe he was just trying to tell me something, but I had absolutely no idea what the hell he was talking...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #12

Tales from the Porn Store: #12

Tales from the Porn Store: #12 – What the Hell is that Noise ??? In the back of the store where all of the X-rated DVD’s are displayed, there are two stereo speakers attached to the walls, playing the local crappy rock station all day long. In the front of the store where I am at all day, there is a...

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Tales form the Porn Store: #11

Tales form the Porn Store: #11

Tales form the Porn Store: #11 – Alien Love Doll It has been a ghost town in here all night tonight, nothing crazy, interesting, or worth writing about going on tonight. I started looking around and found some product catalogs lying around. I started flipping through them since I have never really looked...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #10

Tales from the Porn Store: #10

Tales from the Porn Store: #10 – Porn Wars Today seemed like it was going to be a nice and slow day. It started off with rain in the morning, and hardly any one came in to the store. After a while the ‘Agent Cody Banks’ guy came in and looked around for over two hours to pick out the single (as in...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #09

Tales from the Porn Store: #09

Tales from the Porn Store: #09 – Maximum Porn Efficiency There is this one guy who comes in here every single day. He is thee poster boy for porn addiction. Normally he is very polite, but he is also extremely annoying. He has tried to make small talk with me on a few occasions by bragging about his porn...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #08

Tales from the Porn Store: #08

Tales from the Porn Store: #08 – Willy Wonka – Porn Director It’s been a ghost town of a morning. There has only been one guy to come in so far, Mr. Pink. He was standing outside when I opened up this morning. He looked so sad, had no bike, and strangely enough he was not dressed like a baseball...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #07

Tales from the Porn Store: #07

Tales from the Porn Store: #07 – Mr. Pink’s Bike Gets Stolen There is this one guy who comes in almost everyday, and he usually comes in multiple times each day. I call this guy Mr. Pink (Reservoir Dogs reference). He is a total nut. He is always dressed up in a full baseball uniform like he plays...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #06

Tales from the Porn Store: #06

Tales from the Porn Store: #06 – The Calm Before the Storm Normally we get shipments in about 2 to 3 times a week. They come in randomly on no set date or day of the week. Now for some odd reason all of the customers have decided, and firmly believe, that we get all of our shipments in on Fridays. This...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #05

Tales from the Porn Store: #05

Tales from the Porn Store: #05 – Just Another Rainy Night at the Porn Store Man, after the crazy week I just had, I am actually kind of happy to be back at work. Thursdays are always pretty slow, so I hope that I get to relax a little a bit tonight. Well this one dude, who usually likes to look around...

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Tales from the Porn Store: #04

Tales from the Porn Store: #04

Tales from the Porn Store: #04 – Baby Cart in the Land of Porn It is really dead in here today! Some stupid football game is on so business is slow, which is truly awesome for me. Now, I know what you are thinking and it’s not quite as crazy as it sounds, people are not choosing football over porn....

[Continue reading: Tales from the Porn Store: #04]
Tales from the Porn Store: #03

Tales from the Porn Store: #03

Tales from the Porn Store: #03 – Fantasies about Watching Porn Man what a damn slow day! I got here at 8am, and I will be here until at least 10:15pm. The highlight of my day so far has been watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre again. I watch that movie a few times every month and it is always AMAZING!!!...

[Continue reading: Tales from the Porn Store: #03]
Tales from the Porn Store: #02

Tales from the Porn Store: #02

Tales from the Porn Store: #02 – Watching Porn with the Police Well, tonight has been pretty quiet so far. Right now I am just hangin’ out, chillin’, drinking soda, and listening to Mythic. Nope. Not much out of the ordinary happening in here tonight. Earlier there was a uniformed police officer in...

[Continue reading: Tales from the Porn Store: #02]
Tales from the Porn Store: #01

Tales from the Porn Store: #01

Tales from the Porn Store: #01 – Porn is the Secret to Longevity I am sitting around bored at the porn store. I have Havohej blasting on the stereo, pumped throughout the entire store, it’s nearing closing time… and this really old man walks in. So I can only imagine how much he must love...

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Adventures in Obscenity

The Cracker pt.20

The Cracker pt.20

Adventures in Obscenity: #210 The Cracker pt.20 by BSRiter “Fuck me you...


The Cracker pt.19

The Cracker pt.19

Adventures in Obscenity: #209 The Cracker pt.19 by BSRiter “Grrrr,”...


The Cracker pt.18

The Cracker pt.18

Adventures in Obscenity: #208 The Cracker pt.18 by BSRiter “Ohh,” Lucy...


The Cracker pt.17

The Cracker pt.17

Adventures in Obscenity: #207 The Cracker pt.17 by BSRiter He felt the familiar...


The Cracker pt.16

The Cracker pt.16

Adventures in Obscenity: #206 The Cracker pt.16 by BSRiter “Ohhh Jenky,...


The Cracker pt.15

The Cracker pt.15

Adventures in Obscenity: #205 The Cracker pt.15 by BSRiter “Mmmmm, looks...


The Cracker pt.14

The Cracker pt.14

Adventures in Obscenity: #204 The Cracker pt.14 by BSRiter Lucy was a whorebot,...


The Cracker pt.13

The Cracker pt.13

Adventures in Obscenity: #203 The Cracker pt.13 by BSRiter Lucy the artificial...


The Cracker pt.12

The Cracker pt.12

Adventures in Obscenity: #202 The Cracker pt.12 by BSRiter “We have been...


The Cracker pt.11

The Cracker pt.11

Adventures in Obscenity: #201 The Cracker pt.11 by BSRiter “Noooo!”...


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All

Saturday Morning Cartoons: #128

Saturday Morning Cartoons: #128

Happy Tree Friends – The Way You Make Me Wheel 211


Porn Store Spotlights: #102

Porn Store Spotlights: #102

Big Tit Zombies – pt.3


Half Nauseated Thursday: #121

Half Nauseated Thursday: #121


Wrestling Rules Wednesdays: #119

Wrestling Rules Wednesdays: #119

… Timeline: History of WWF 1987


e[lust] #34

e[lust] #34

Photo Courtesy of JM from There is No Spoon! Welcome to e[lust] - Your source...


Best of Spam: #78

Best of Spam: #78

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture...


Saturday Morning Cartoons: #127

Saturday Morning Cartoons: #127

Happy Tree Friends – Class Act 210


Porn Store Spotlights: #101

Porn Store Spotlights: #101

Big Tit Zombies – pt.1


Half Nauseated Thursday: #120

Half Nauseated Thursday: #120


Wrestling Rules Wednesdays: #118

Wrestling Rules Wednesdays: #118

… Iron Sheik Loves Scooters


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